Wednesday, May 25, 2005

"Because of Hurricane Ivan . . . "

So I returned late last night from an enjoyable respite overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. (Many thanks to the personable folks at the Phoenix VI complex in Orange Beach, AL; for all you do, this Red Stripe's for you.)

But you know what? It would have been far more enjoyable had not Hurricane Ivan passed through last September. At least, that's my suspicion, for "Because of Hurricane Ivan . . . " turned into a rather oft-repeated refrain, I must say.

---> "Hey, let's go to the Back Porch!" (That's a tavern-on-the-water friends had enjoyed last year.) Nope. Because of Hurricane Ivan . . .

---> "Hey, let's go jet-skiing!" Negative, ghostrider. Because of Hurricane Ivan . . .

---> "Hey, let's use the Phoenix VI work-out room!" Sorry. Because of Hurricane Ivan . . .

---> "Hey, the water sure looks murky!" Yuck. Because of Hurricane Ivan . . . (big boats were busy dredging up these big pipes that extended about 50 yards off the shore; a guy in a hard-hat said they had been damaged).

Anyway, I got to thinking that maybe the excuse works for Frank Robinson, too. "Geez-a-lou, Frank sure manages like he's a
doddering idiot!" Why? Because of Hurricane Ivan . . .

It even serves as a soothing mantra for us, the Nats fans, the vicarious victims of this doddering idiocy:

---> "Frank
bunts far too often and in odd situations . . . because of Hurricane Ivan."

---> "Frank
may have been able to hit pitchers, but he sure can't manage them . . . because of Hurricane Ivan."

---> "Frank
has an irrational obsession for Carlos Baerga and regards Ryan Church like I regard sushi . . . because of Hurricane Ivan."

---> "Frank overuses Luis Ayala . . . because of Hurricane Ivan."

---> "And Frank is old and cranky and, yes, largely unaccountable . . .

Yes indeed . . . Because of Hurricane Ivan."

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